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Lagos fine girls and the Agberos

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Lagos Agberos are something else.

As a lady, you probably must have had to deal with their shenanigans at one point in time.

Walking past them without getting unwarranted comments, simply means you are in luck. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

What’s even interesting is how they readily drop comments the very second you walk past. Like say they pre-planned it.

It doesn’t matter whether you are slim or plumpy, short or tall, dark-skin or light-skin, busty or curvy. They will sha have something to say ni.

Things that “normal” people (for a lack of better word) may notice, reserve their comment and continue their day.

But you see these our Yoruba-speaking agberos, they must talk. Not just talk, they will open their mouths wide ni o. Different slangs and no single filter.

As your girl is still cruising these streets in the infamous Leggedis Benz, I get that a lot from our agberos and I have learnt to “politely” ignore them (so that they won’t turn their “compliments” into insults cause that one is worse 😂).

Sometimes, I just feign smiles, sometimes I greet them, sometimes I say “thank you” and keep it moving.

I remember one particular instance that this played out and turned out to be quite funny.

That fateful evening, I was by the left lane of the road, waiting to cross to the other side when I spotted a beautiful lady on the other side walking by.

She was dressed in a cute floral top and a bodycon skirt. I should also add that she was “endowed” physically – especially at the hips and the buttocks area.

As a normal human being should, I said in my mind, “this aunty carry o” and continued to watch her pass.

I noticed there was a group of public transport ticketeers chilling a little ahead in her way and she would need to walk past them.

As I saw them like this, I knew “aunty” was in for it, and those agberos did not disappoint;

One just shouted, “Yeee!”

And it went from there;

“Oh baby…”

“Oga o, fine girl.”

“Kini yi pọ” (This thing is plenty)

“Only you carry this one?”

“We dey greet you o.”

“Greet us na.”

“Ọmọ ẹ́lé.”

Like that…

Read this in an agbero’s voice, if you can.

Because I expected the reaction from them, I found it funny, so I laughed.

With my smiley face still on, I crossed over. My eyes met with one of the guys’, so we gave each other the knowing look.

They knew I saw the whole thing.

So he said, “aunty, you sef see am.”

I didn’t respond, I just gave a quick smile and walked past – also backing them but in the opposite direction to the lady.

Our little interaction probably drew their attention away from the lady to me.

I figured, they took some time to watch me from behind because I had not taken many steps away when I heard them call out;

“Aunty, ẹyin gán, o pọ o.”

I didn’t even look back, but I chuckled.

Ṣebi na me dey laugh for another person matter, they don reason me too.

No problem when it’s all talk, I suppose.

But othertimes, these agberos would pass their boundaries and try to grab your hand, that pisses me off so much.

How can we stop this sef?

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